i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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