I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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