dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
