That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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