Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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