he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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