I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
