Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
