she smelled like a LAN party
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
