happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
