he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
