Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
