You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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