a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
