listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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