Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
