so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I believe in your delicious
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
