The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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