hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
