Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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