I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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