girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
