i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
