and you said cock pushups were impossible
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
