she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
