i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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