he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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