You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
