oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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