she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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