i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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