You're my little dorito
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
