I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
