Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
