can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
