dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
