Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
