sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
