I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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