After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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