my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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