So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
