I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
