I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
