Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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