Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
