You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
