If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
