It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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