I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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