is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
