with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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