I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
