My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
