i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
