Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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