call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
