I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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